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Hail, sons of flame! I greet you in the happiness of the sun that shines on land and sea, where "there is no night there."1 I AM Helios! Welcome my beloved Vesta, who has joined me this day - both of us, then, to be here with you on this Fourth of July!
[28-second standing ovation. Congregation gives the salutation:]
Hail, Helios and Vesta! Hail, Helios and Vesta!
Hail, Helios and Vesta! Hail, Helios and Vesta! ...
You have heard the "Victory Symphony"2 and I tell you that victory, beloved, is the fanfare of our presence. And this music has been given to Beethoven by ourselves that you might have the spirit of victory in sound.
I say, play it and play it again and play it every day until you have victory in every way in your personhood, in your church, in this nation and in this planet. And play it, beloved, in this court when you shout your fiats of the judgment, that victory might come shining through. And see that victory descending as a mighty V that parts all darkness, which can no longer coagulate - no, beloved!
Let the full power of the "Victory Symphony" descend into your very midst and let it be the power of that music which does amplify the sounding of your word and the sounding of our light in your heart!
We come, beloved, that we might face you heart to heart and help those precious hearts to grow and expand and be the magnanimous hearts of Helios and Vesta and the God and Goddess Meru and the Messengers Lanello and Mother. Therefore let this descent and deceleration of the fire of the sun come unto you, always quickening that heart to expand a little bit more.
Therefore clear the arteries of the heart! Clear the veins and the capillaries! Clear your hearts, beloved, of all hardness. Let the sunshine of Helios and Vesta pour through you now for the mightiest healing of the rainbow rays of our Causal Bodies and the secret rays of the Dhyani Buddhas, who live in the heart of the sun! Amen. ["Amen!" (17-second standing ovation)]
Be seated now, as the legions who come with us are establishing rings of the sun around the earth on the lines of latitude and longitude, as it were. Grid of light of rings of the sun we establish.
The sun does consume all unlike itself. The Sun Presence in your life is the very presence of the Cosmic Christ. Each sunbeam is that Christ consciousness descending, and every beam of light does come from the heart of the Central Sun and does extend to you that fire, that energy - that energy of the heart of the atom.
Drink in the sun, beloved, as the Sun of your Mighty I AM Presence. Know that the showering of the light of the Son of God, [who is within] you as your Holy Christ Self, and of your I AM Presence is surely sufficient as the day's strength to accomplish all things all the days of your life. Just remember to establish that attunement.
And therefore place now your right thumb and first two fingers on the crown chakra and press in as hard as you can, beloved, on the crown even as you take your left hand simultaneously - the thumb and the first two fingers - and press them to the center of the chest. And know that the golden pink glow-ray is the power of the crown chakra and the heart [combined], the indomitable Power of Helios and Vesta, the indomitable Will of Helios and Vesta - the indomitable Wisdom and the indomitable Love.
You are children of the Sun, beloved! You can do anything through that Cosmic Christ consciousness of the Sun. Anything, I tell you, is possible in God! Only remember that you are made of sunbeams. You are made of sun-center energy. You are made of cosmic fire of Elohim in the beginning with the Word.
Therefore I break the boundaries of limitation!
I shatter the old matrices of mortality!
Remember that ye are God's!3 This is our theme for this conference 1991. Remember that ye are God's, and God does hold you close to himself and the only distance you know [between yourself and him] is time and space conditioned by inharmony. But there is no inharmony in the sun, only the smile of the dawn and the smile of the sunset and the smile of the noonday.
Did you ever see the sun when the sun was not smiling?
Therefore who is frowning but the dark clouds of the fallen ones that attempt to cover and eclipse the Sun of your own I AM Presence?
I say to each and every one of you, let not the eclipse of the sun or the moon in any way mar the blessings of the Sun of your soul and the Sun of your I AM Presence!
Therefore defeat that astrology that is oncoming! Defeat it I say, beloved, for unto you is the cup of Victory. Only take it. Only remind yourself daily, "I am the son, the daughter of Helios and Vesta and I am happy because I am in my God and my God is in me."
Let not the shadows of this world stay any longer. You are in my presence now. You are in the presence of Vesta as though you were in the center of the sun of this system. Beloved hearts, I decree that you shall retain this sense and this presence, that you will not lose it. We have come to reinforce it!
We have come here that you might know, as our children, that we love you and have loved you from the beginning. We shall love you unto the ending. We shall spank you from the beginning and spank you unto the ending. We shall chasten you! We shall teach you! We shall raise you up and show you the cosmic heights and let you fall and see in a free-fall how far you may fall, then, beloved, without the wings of Helios and Vesta to carry you. [Yet, we will catch you.]
Yes, and these wings, beloved, they are not fastened with wax and they will not melt in the sun.4 These are wings of the mind. They are wings of God Mercury. They are wings of Venus. They are wings of your native homes, wherever you have hailed from, of the starry systems.
Yes, you have come from Venus and other places, beloved, but here you are this day and your feet are planted firmly in the physical octave. See to it that you draw down all of the sun into the lowest depths of the physical plane. And if you can draw it down as far as the depths of Death and Hell into the thirty-three steps, beloved, you can by the power of the sun rout those fallen ones, bind Death and Hell, cast them into the lake of fire of our sun of this system [and be done with them]!
Yes, beloved, our lake of fire comes in all the rainbow rays of God and it is the powerful energy for the consuming of these ones.
Why should they remain in the astral plane of earth itself?
Well, I will tell you why. They will remain until the people of earth decide to reject them, for they will no longer worship them, they will no longer accept their standards.
Therefore you, it is you who have given them haven! Therefore divest yourselves of all of that consciousness of the seed of the Wicked One and see how they will no longer be able to abide.
For the earth is the LORD's and the fullness thereof and it is Saint Germain's and Portia's! It is their turn with the God and Goddess Meru to remake this world into the kingdom of heaven and you are assisting that cause. Therefore continue to serve that cause, beloved ones. Continue day after day after day after day.
For, you see, it is not according to your say or by your words and works that Death and Hell have remained on this planet but it is because it is the kingdom of the fallen ones. And they have set up their underworld5 and they rise from that underworld to move against you.
Do not allow it, for I, Helios and Vesta, place in the hand of your Holy Christ Self a mighty scepter. You may call to your Christ Self to use that scepter in the name of the Son of God, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, Maitreya, Gautama, Sanat Kumara. You may call to him to use that scepter!
And that scepter, beloved, is almost like the trident of Neptune. It is the power of the Trinity to put down the fallen ones, to put them down, beloved, and to seize from them all of the supply that they have stolen from you and from your Causal Body, often in [your] moments of ignorance and folly and of trusting those whom you should not trust.
Beloved ones, you have a great treasure-house in your Causal Body. But I tell you, your own Holy Christ Self is reticent to unleash that substance to you for concern that you will go and misuse it again.
And therefore enter into a trust with Portia that you might know God-Justice and all prudence and that you might know that none of the things of this world are worth spending that supply of your Causal Body on - only the things of the Spirit, only those things that contribute to your fulfillment of your divine plan, to the fulfillment of your mission upon earth [are worth it].
And therefore know that the supply that comes forth from your Causal Body is limited, for you have placed there but a limited amount of momentum of the multiplication of the loaves and fishes on this planet. And therefore the gold of your Causal Body won, hard won by you, must be treasured as something you use only for the furtherance of the kingdom of God within your being and your own adeptship and your own God Self-mastery.
Do you understand, beloved ones, that I am speaking to you in the frequency of the vibration of the Central Sun? And therefore you can understand how there can be a stepping up of your mind and a stepping up of your consciousness and how there comes the day when you can no longer speak, for you cannot put into words the rapidity of the Mind of God that does beam to you the cosmic concept that you need to have in order to accomplish that mission upon this planetary body.
I say, beloved ones, you can see how time can be expanded when you are accelerated. Am I not speaking to you with more words per minute than normally? Well, yes, beloved, I am. And that does mean that you can accomplish more per minute and per hour and per day than you even dream of. And thus you have ample time in this lifetime to fulfill that mission if you will only try it, if you will only condense the sunlight.
Why, beloved ones, who has harnessed the lightning?
No one has harnessed the lightning. But you shall harness the lightning, for I decree it this day! And that lightning is the lightning of the Mind of God. It is blue and yellow and pink and white and purple and green. It is the fiery gold and the ruby action and the violet flame.
Yes, there are lightnings that come from the Mind of God that you can harness to have all the energy that you need, beloved ones, to expand those chakras and to walk the earth as Gods!
Yes, this is our goal for you!
How long will you wallow in the muck and the mire of mortality? Tell me how long. ["No longer!"] "No longer" is the answer! From this day forward! "No longer" is the answer!
Therefore smile. Smile the smile of the Messenger when she saw us coming this day smiling and beaming. Why, we are even laughing, beloved ones! We are laughing the laughter of Almighty God, who does hold these fallen ones in derision.6
And they are quaking at the thirty-third plane of hell this day. Indeed, they are quaking in the White House and in the Congress and in the Supreme Court and in every body of legislature of this nation and the world. Yes, they quake! For they exist by the sponsorship of the Hierarchy of Light and they are here [on earth] this day to know in consciousness, wherever they be upon this planet, that that sponsorship is withdrawn from them now! precisely at this moment, and mark that time!7 At this particular moment it is withdrawn and they are no longer sponsored by the cycles of the sun and the twelve Hierarchies of the Sun.
They are cut off, beloved ones! And see the cosmic hosts cutting their ties to the twelve solar hierarchies. The dispensation is gone. It is done with! It is finished! They will not be able to gather one more sunbeam in the practice of mayhem against the children of the Light! [54-second standing ovation]
Your applause is like falling rain.
Let it be the rain of water and fire. Let it be the rain of light.
Now I ask you this question: Will you allow this dispensation to remain in the etheric octave? ["No!"]
Will you allow it to remain in the mental belt? ["No!"]
Will you allow it to go no further than the astral plane? ["No!"]
Whereto will you bring this dispensation? ["To the physical!"]
Therefore let the decree of Keepers of the Flame resound in all octaves of the earth that the judgment is come in the physical dimension unto those who have misused the chain of Hierarchy back to our God, and this does include every fallen angel who has ever followed after that Archdeceiver, [Lucifer]. All lose their rank of any sort whatsoever except their rank hatred against the sons and daughters of God, for this they will retain and it shall be unto them their judgment! [31-second standing ovation]
Now we would bring to you the vision of the many spheres of Light8 that surround the physical sun as the Great Causal Body of this solar system, which consists of the combined momentums of all who have served the Godhead on these several planets.
Within these spheres of Light of rainbow rays and secret-ray hues, envision, now, points of light. As you approach you see these points of light, millions of them, as Buddhas; and these Buddhas, beloved, are the Dharmakaya, the Causal Body, of many souls.
And these are souls of children. These are the children of Helios and Vesta. These concentric spheres are suns themselves, one upon the other and the other, and they rotate. And thus, the children suspended beneath their Dharmakaya within these spheres are all children whom we would send to embody on planet earth.
The day will come when they will be sent forth. That day is the day that we assign you to build. Lay the foundations well. Prepare the cradles. Prepare the parents and teachers. Prepare those who will live concurrently with them. When all is set, beloved, when you shall have fulfilled the mandate of the God and Goddess Meru,9 when we can trust that there will be room enough to receive them and that they will be free and unimpeded, not persecuted in any form, not denied the fulfillment of their divine mission, then they shall descend.
Be heralds of that day! It will require a purging of the planet.
They are sealed, beloved, for the forces of hell upon earth are already ready to pounce and devour them; and therefore there has been a staying action, not allowing [these precious ones] to embody. But they are busy at work, beloved, for they are increasing the rings of their Causal Body and they are pulling down the strands of their Buddhahood and they are integrating more and more with the Holy Christ Self.
These are Christed ones, beloved. Whether they come sooner or later depends upon what Keepers of the Flame and Lightbearers of the earth shall do to make it possible.
I give you this vision so that with every breath you breathe and with every decree you give and the work of your hands and all that you put together for the education of all children (and most especially of the precious ones who have such cosmic gifts), you will remember that you are performing that service for those who will come, perhaps as your children or your grandchildren or your great-great-great-great-grandchildren.
Perhaps they will come if earth enters that golden age where Maitreya himself may come and walk and talk with the evolutions and his bodhisattvas may embody with him.
Yes, beloved, these are the signs in the heavens.
As you visualize what I have described, you can make contact with these millions of souls and imagine them as leaders of the nations and visualize the earth sealed in that great violet flame of Omri-Tas and that great violet flame sea, where not only a place called the United States might have the sponsorship of Seventh-Ray Masters but every nation.
For that to come about, beloved, the fallen ones must be bound and those rebellious lifestreams who have not entered in to the Mosaic law of the Ten Commandments and the worship of the I AM THAT I AM, those who have not come under the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ must have made their peace with God, else been transferred elsewhere.
Thus, the karmas of the nations must be balanced. But you see, I do not bring before you a vision impractical or impossible: I bring to you a vision that is absolutely possible because Omri-Tas has come to earth on May 1 of this year10 and he is here, beloved!
The beloved Omri-Tas is with planet earth and also playing a part in this event, lending his Great Causal Body to [it]. Beloved Omri-Tas has come with such a dispensation as to make those things possible that did not appear to be possible, neither to Saint Germain nor to Portia nor to the cosmic councils.
You live in a moment of such a wide-open door of opportunity that I can scarcely tell you what a great boon it is for you to use that violet flame. And let it be upon your lips as you go from place to place, not wasting a moment to pull it down. Yes, beloved, you can in a matter of months and years be walking, living, violet-flame, Seventh-Ray adepts if you put your mind and heart to it!
It is a moment of opportunity for tremendous acceleration. And that opportunity is given, beloved, because you must have a certain level of attainment to rescue millions of souls in embodiment and on the astral plane who do not enjoy the concentric suns of Light of the Causal Body of Helios and Vesta but yet remain in the lowlands and the marshes of earth, from which they can scarcely extricate themselves. And some of them are irretrievably bound by hosts of Darkness, except in the case where you call and implore that Michael Archangel to intercede.
I say, let the fire of the sun increase your strength and your ability to draw the nutrients from that Sun Presence! May you feel the tingling in your crown chakra and know that the day is nigh when the full force of that Kundalini shall rise for the quickening and the opening.
Thereby you may have all knowledge, all understanding and the enlightenment that is a spherical consciousness of God extending himself through you so that by the rays of God, as that God is in you, you may contact, almost as through a system of radar, any point on the periphery, on the circumference, and beyond that circumference into the infinite sea of light.
And as you send forth that ray, that ray shall bring back to you instantaneous knowledge and understanding. This must come to hearts who have applied themselves, who have been willing to be God-taught and tutored by the representative of the Mother of the Flame whom you have [with you in this dispensation].
Beloved, learn from those whom you see and then you will also arrive at the gate of being able to learn from those whom you do not see, yet whose presence you sense, whose intimations reach your mind, who present a quickening power, quickening you to scrape the ceiling of the limitation of the carnal mind and press through to the infinite Mind of God in Christ Jesus, which is your own through your Holy Christ Self.
Yes, the sun does shine upon the just and the unjust, but you have not been told that the rays are differently qualified for each. And therefore upon the unjust does come the God-quality that they have perverted: God-Justice. And upon the just there does descend more Justice. And therefore to him that hath shall more be added.11
Let your sunshine be every quality of the seven rays and of the twelve solar hierarchies. Let your sunshine be the hope of a new day. Let your sunshine be the expansion of intelligence, of heart, of spirit, of vajra. Truly, let the Diamond One come into your being. I say, in the twinkling of an eye you can be all that you are.
You, then, must come to grips with that conundrum [and figure out for yourself how you can be and become all that you are]. It is the puzzle, beloved, and the puzzlement of the mind that is limited, of the mortal mind and the human, fickle mind.
Yes, beloved, why are you encased in it day and night?
Why do you not puncture through? What is it that binds you?
The answers to these questions must come from within; for after all, you are the creator of this mind and we are not. Therefore uncreate it. We give you the tool of the sun itself and the unlimited power of the sun. Now be creative! Exercise the mind that God gave you, the mind that God created! And compute, yes, by the mathematics of a cosmos, how you can clean escape the carnal box, the mortal bag.
Yes, poke through it. But in the meantime give your absolute decrees of the absolute God-affirmation that here and now you are God's, here and now you are sons and daughters of Helios and Vesta! Here and now, that is fact. And it is cosmic fact! And your names are written in the Book of Life as those who have the option to ascend in this life. Yes, let the [karmic] writings in your personal book of life be transmuted by the violet flame.
Yes, I am smiling Helios and I breathe upon you that newness of life.
Would you know the resurrection? Affirm it:
I AM the Resurrection and the Life of the Son of God within me!
[Congregation affirms with Helios and Vesta:]
I AM the Resurrection and the Life of the Son of God within me!
I AM the Resurrection and the Life of the Son of God within me!
Would you know regeneration? Then claim it:
I AM the Regeneration and the Life of the Son of God within me!
[Congregation affirms with Helios and Vesta:]
I AM the Regeneration and the Life of the Son of God within me!
I AM the Regeneration and the Life of the Son of God within me!
Would you know rejuvenation? Then claim it:
[Congregation affirms with Helios and Vesta:]
I AM the Rejuvenation and the Life of the Son of God within me!
I AM the Rejuvenation and the Life of the Son of God within me!
I AM the Rejuvenation and the Life of the Son of God within me!
Now the [purposed] action of our coming as regards planet earth is unveiled. The beloved Vesta will remain with you during this conference and beyond while I go again, the cord of love between us, moving in the earth, moving in the earth. Again you have the opportunity to call to us for the resolution of all untoward conditions, the gross injustice of this year itself, outplayed in the Middle East and in many nations.
[For] thirty-three days, beloved, we will answer your call. We will answer with the full fire of the Central Sun of Alpha and Omega. We will answer, beloved, to the fullest extent of the Great Law.
If there is something in the world you truly desire to see happen, you can offer a percentage of your Causal Body, [this] to be approved by the Lords of Karma. You may offer that, beloved. And when you do, it is as seed money, it is as a leaven. We may use it to accomplish that for which you have asked. And the good karma of that victory may return to you and multiply again that percentage you have given as an investment that you can invest again and again and increase on your investment and therefore have more and more to invest in many causes.
Try it, beloved, for opportunity has never been so great. And those beings of the Central Sun who determine what light can be given again and again to earth must have some collateral, and that must be an approved percentage [of your Causal Body]. It is as though you should give a pint of blood to the needy or some portion of yourself for another.
You can spare some of your Causal Body. What portion you can spare can be determined by your I AM Presence and Holy Christ Self before the Lords of Karma. Please include this request in your letters12 to the Karmic Board at this season of the summer solstice.
Our beloved Vesta, then, does intend to speak to you ere this conference is concluded. She will rest [and forgo speaking at this moment] to have, then, the sealing word and let others give their messages first.
I say to you, beloved, this is the hour and the season that beloved Alpha did commit to come and to speak to you.13 Beloved Alpha has sent us as his emissaries, representing himself and beloved Omega, and he does state that he will return to speak when you have cleared the Heart of the Inner Retreat for that purpose and all things are in order for our coming.
If you should determine to guarantee his coming July 4, 1992, then I would recommend that you volunteer your services following this conference (or any time during the working year when inclement weather is not present) to the cleanup of the Heart and its full preparation for the tent of the Lord to be placed there again. Do you not look forward to his glorious coming and to returning to the Heart of the Inner Retreat?
["Yes!" (30-second standing ovation)]
Beloved ones, I cannot even count the number of angels who are smiling at you and with you in this moment. It is as though all of the entire planetary body were an amphitheater and these angels were gathered above the earth, filling every corner of the sky, beaming with love and happiness and joy and gratitude for the anticipated victory of Church Universal and Triumphant and the Mystical Body of God upon earth. [27-second standing ovation]I did have my eye on the board of directors of this Church when, out of the practical necessities of the hour, they had to make the decision to put all available manpower in the preparation of this conference here and did have none left over to assign to the cleanup of the Heart. Thus for want of manpower, womanpower, childpower (but not of elemental-or angel-power!), for want of funds as well, beloved, it was not possible to bring about this circumstance in this season.
May you look at yourself and determine whether you belong to this Community of the Holy Spirit, whether you should take up your residence in this state or in this Community as a member of the staff of Maitreya's Mystery School. It is something to be pondered, beloved. It is something to pray about. It is something to ask the Lords of Karma about - whether you can fulfill your divine plan best here in keeping the flame of the Inner Retreat or elsewhere in your service across the nations and the continents.
We need Lightbearers everywhere, but the nucleus here must surely be strong to maintain a flame that is able to withstand the increasing onslaughts of the fallen ones, who know the source of their challengers, who know the source of the Light that does defy their evil deeds and their Darkness.
Thus, beloved, [if we are] to increase the great body of Lightbearers worldwide, we must have a commensurate increase of those who keep the flame of Alpha and Omega, whether in their private settlements and homes or serving on this staff. That body of Lightbearers must increase, for it is the nucleus of a sun that does make possible all that does take place throughout the planet.
I AM Helios. I see the long centuries of the future that will come about because they shall have been built upon the foundations you have laid. Never, never, never underestimate the importance of your role as a part of this Community worldwide and most especially as a part of this staff. It is a path, beloved, that is sponsored by ourselves. It is a path whereby you may balance karma in a service to the Ascended Masters and in the fulfilling of their purposes.
If you were to compute, beloved, the karma that you would carry in the world and that which you would carry here, you would discover that the inconveniences and sometimes the hardships and even the very challenges of staff life are always less in intensity and in burden than the karma you would be dealing with if you went forth into the world and would carry that karma upon you.
For, you see, when you come to the Inner Retreat, the Masters who sponsor the retreat assist you in carrying that karma. They bear a goodly portion and thus you avoid the necessity of spending many years of your life until you should be prepared, from the standpoint of having balanced much karma, to become the actual chela accepted by a single Ascended Master for tutelage on the Path for the rest of your life.
You are all students of the Ascended Masters but I remind you that those who are called "chela" are those who are personally sponsored by an Ascended Master. There is a difference, beloved. Students are making their way on the Path to be received, then, as those for whom the Ascended Masters may have the authority of the Karmic Board to give that sponsorship.
Think, then, about the sponsorship we have given you this day and understand that it comes to you by the mighty intercession of your own beloved Lord Maitreya. It is his mighty Sun Presence establishing this Mystery School that allows us to go through his heart and his sponsorship of this Community in general and of certain individuals in particular.
May you know how much meaning it has for every person on the planet when you make your sacrifices, sometimes profoundly painful, to maintain your heart-tie and your relationship to Lord Maitreya, to El Morya, to Saint Germain, Mother Mary, Kuan Yin, Kuthumi, Lanello and your own Mother of the Flame.
When you make the necessary choices whereby you keep that contact with your own I AM Presence, you maintain the tie to your Christ Self by not compromising your honor. Your honor is God's honor. Therefore, [as Thomas Becket,] as Thomas More, will you not begin to love the honor of God? ["Yes."]
So be it. The white fire is upon you.
Mark well how long you are able to keep it.
Let us now rally behind this cause and swiftly put out on sources of television available to us these messages, these dictations, these facts and figures. We have given the [Independence Day] message to the Messenger to deliver this day14 and ere [the day] is through may you hear every word of it.
Thus I go now. I go crossing the earth, inspecting many places and hiding places of many individuals. I am here to do what Alpha and Omega have sent me to do. So is Vesta here to do that to which she has been sent.
We are the representatives to you in this system of the Father-Mother God. O our beloved children, come now unto our hearts!
This dictation by Helios was delivered by the Messenger of the Great White Brotherhood Elizabeth Clare Prophet on Thursday, July 4, 1991, during FREEDOM 1991 held at the Royal Teton Ranch, Park County, Montana.
I would like to share with you an experience that I had not long after I came into the Teachings of the Ascended Masters. This episode happened one weekend when I was visiting my parents' home in Raufoss, the small town in Norway where I grew up.
It was just after I had gone to bed one night and fallen asleep. I suddenly woke up and there was a great force pressing on me like a dark, heavy weight paralyzing my whole being. I was not able to move or speak and I could hardly think. But in the midst of this frightening experience I was suddenly reminded of a story that you had told us about Saint Patrick.
Saint Patrick tells us in his Confession Letter:
On that very same night I lay a-sleeping, and powerfully Satan assailed me; which I shall remember as long as I am in this body. He fell upon me like an enormous stone, and I was stricken nerveless in all my limbs. Whence then did it come into my unscholarly spirit to call upon Helias?
At once I saw the sun rising into the dawn sky, and while I kept invoking "Helias, Helias," with all my strength, lo, the Splendour of the Sun fell over me and instantly shook all the heaviness off from me.
This story flashed through my mind and though I was not able to cry out like Saint Patrick, I whispered the words "Helios, Helios" and visualized the sun. Immediately the weight and the terror left me and I was able to go back to sleep, even if I was a bit shaky.
I am grateful to God that he gave me this opportunity to test the power of Helios against whatever dark force that attacked me. I am also grateful to you, Mother, for all the teachings and stories you tell us so we have something to guide us in our hours of trial. I think that if I had not had this story to relate to, it would not even have occurred to me to make the call.
Thank you, Mother. Thank you, Saint Patrick. Thank you, Helios.
I am writing to you to offer my gratitude and to bear witness to the wonderful gifts the Masters have given me and to pass on some of the lessons I have received.
It was about a year ago last spring that my story begins. My wife and I were living at her mother's house and making no progress on getting our house built. I was reading some of the books from your recommended list concerning dysfunctional families and the "inner child" and was starting to see in myself some of the effects of growing up with parents who do not love each other.
The criticism and condemnation I felt from my parents turned into self-criticism and self-condemnation that stayed with me long after I moved away. The "self-CCJ"15 made me look to others for the love and approval I could not give myself; at the same time it developed in me an addiction to self-abuse.
I started a prayer vigil to Kuan Yin and El Morya asking them to perform cosmic surgery on me to remove this "tumor" that was blocking my progress on the Path. After several days of prayer and decrees, I began writing a letter to Kuan Yin, El Morya, and the Lords of Karma. I started the letter while I was in the waiting room of the hospital where my wife was undergoing exploratory surgery. I began with my earliest memories of this self-abusive behavior.
For the next few days, as my wife was recovering, I spent every spare moment writing, writing, writing. The more I wrote, the more I remembered - memories of shame, sadness, self-degradation. Forty pages later, I was done. I burned the letter and resumed the vigil.
Two days later, I mustered the courage to tell my wife and it was at that point that I wrote to you asking for the opportunity to come to the Ranch to "obtain spiritual counseling, to accelerate the cosmic surgery and healing, and to do penance ..."
I look back to my ten-day stay at the Ranch with gratitude and humility. After talking to you that first evening, I remember feeling things snapping back into place. (The sound of a chela getting back on the Path again?) Suddenly everyone was pulling for me and I was pulling for everybody.
I remember wonderful days of harvesting and weeding in the fields, powerful evenings in King Arthur's Court doing battle with UFOs with our decrees, an exciting lecture and your teachings on Positive Mental Attitude, a dictation by Mother Mary on her Ascension Day, and falling into bed feeling so blessed and thankful to be of service to my church and my Guru.
I am also thankful for the guidance of Dr. Ralph Yaney during several intensive counseling sessions we had during my stay. I never realized that dreams were a means for my Holy Christ Self to send me messages - messages that were "in code" to avoid being understood by my dweller. Our work focused on interpreting these dreams. I remember crying about one dream. I remember experiencing the anxiety of birth. I remember discovering that I loved my dad.
The final Sunday I was there, I dreamt that I was in prison. I was one of the prisoners. I was one of the guards. The guard attempted to discipline the prisoner. The prisoner fought back. I woke up feeling defeated and depressed, as though the whole self-CCJ spiral was back again.
During the day, I began to wonder whether I should stay another week. Then, during my final session with Dr. Yaney, I realized that my dream was not the climactic battle between Good and Evil but just a dream, a message that I should not allow myself to be imprisoned by my dweller.
There was something about that realization that freed me, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I truly had imprisoned myself with bars of my own fears and doubts, but now I was free! I remember getting more and more happy and excited about this as the day progressed and, by the time you and I talked that evening, Mother, I felt like a rocket at the launch pad just about to take off!
Upon my return, miracles wouldn't stop. We "discovered" an empty lot less than a half a mile away to build our house on. We did supply decrees and checks came in the mail for a week! I started tithing and a week later I got an almost equivalent raise in salary! We closed on the property and moved into our new home on November 30. At work, I received an award and the opportunity to research and write up a proposal for an SDI-related computer project.
I look back to that person of a year and a half ago and I don't recognize him. Now I see a man ahead of me, beckoning me to catch up to him. By God's grace and the help of the Masters, I hope to make those great strides. I am most grateful to you, Mother, and I am grateful for this opportunity to share my victory with my fellow chelas.